Julie Chen Photography

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This coming Saturday will complete my 3rd year of coaching my daughter’s soccer team. I originally made the above coach art for her first grade coaches & then after the parents heard me yell so much, they basically nominated me to become the coach. Now, I LOVE soccer. I grew up playing, but by no means did I consider myself a coach. And through my experience, I have been learning some things about coaching that transfer into parenting:

1. Wow. How do their teachers do it ALL DAY LONG?! I currently have 14 4th & 1st grade girls I am coaching & it is all I can do to maintain their undivided attention. My own little one is the ham of the team, along with the other coach’s daughter as they belly bump their way through practice. Ha! At least they are having fun. At practice, just like at home, I need to repeat things several times & tell them, “Look at my eyes” so that I at least feel like they are listening to me.

2. You will say the SAME THING at EVERY single game & practice ... & I am talking small basic things, like, “RUN!” or “Keep your eye on the ball!” {not rocket science over here.} Kind of like how EVERY DAY I tend to say, “Put your shoes on the shelf.” or “Did you brush your teeth?” {basics people. every single day.} I am constantly trying to discern what are too high of expectations for my team/kids vs. what they can truly handle & understand. {basically learning from mistakes here!}

3. You cannot play the game for them. OK, let’s face it: I really should just join a women’s league. I am WAY more excited about the game than any of my players combined. This hunger & competition comes out of me from deep within that I do not experience with other sports nor other things in life. Just soccer. But, I realize, all I can do is try my best at training them & they have to make choices and actually PLAY the game themselves. Just like in parenting, we instill in our children our values, but when it comes down to it, THEY make their own choices to live their OWN life. It’s not all about me. If my team wins or loses, it’s not all about me {though I tend to take that on} & if my child succeeds or fails, that is not all about me either… {this lesson is taking me quite a while to learn. Ha!}

4. What works for one child will not work for another. Some of my girls rise to the occasion when I strongly challenge them, while others melt into a puddle. Just like in parenting, what I say to one of my kiddos might effectively work, while to another would break their heart. So, I am constantly trying to get to know my team, their personalities & what type of instruction will go over best on each one of them.

5. When it comes down to it, I just want to love on them. I am doing this to spend time with my girls, get to know their friends, and love on others. Of course, during a game when we are losing I forget the “love on them” part of my heart, until of course someone gets hurt & my mommy-brain clicks in & I am hugging them & wiping their tears! But, really to spend time with these girls & be able to be at least some small influence in their life & be a place where they feel part of a team & needed is a sweet thing.

Grace & Peace,

Julie